Brain dead

I think I lost my head somewhere!

One week ago I had the disaster car ride with B. One week in which I haven’t heard from him and basically just tried to ban him from my head and heart.

So what happened? I started to think about him today and then I sent him a text with “Still miss you”!!! And no, I didn’t drink anything at lunch. I must be brain dead…or just plain stupid.
One of my friend’s asked me a long time ago in a quite similar situation if someone had amputated my brain. Maybe it happened in my sleep and I haven’t noticed?

I should be happy, shouldn’t I? I mean there is this super cute Brazilian guy V. who writes me everyday and tells me how much he loves me. Ok, maybe this is not enough since he lives an atlantic away and we haven’t spent more than 45 minutes in each others company, plus he is almost 10 years younger, and nothing at all happened between the two of us. But is good for my self-esteem. I feel valued, loved and put on a pedestal. It could be a lot worse.

So why, oh why am I losing my head over someone who is not into me?

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