Pity

You wouldn’t believe it, but B. texted back just a couple of hours later that he will be back in Vienna this week and that we could talk on the phone. Maybe this is what I deserved!
It’s what I wanted, no? To hear from him! But the way he wrote back I felt really bad about myself. Why did I even get in touch with him? There is no chance that we are ever going back together and now I can feel his pity which makes it worse. Anyway, maybe he will not call. Cause I will definitely not! I thought about what I would want to say to him, in the end I think I have to apologize for my behavior. Which doesn’t mean that I approve his behavior. It only means that my behavior was awful. I should never have met him while I was still mad at him. Always a bad choice.
Anyway, will let you know how this goes if ever…

In other news V. is not talking to me anymore. We had a little fall out last week when I told him that I am still not in love with him (how can I when I don’t even know him except for talking to him for 45min?). So know he decided to give me all the necessary time I need to get to know him without talking to me. Also fine by me. I am just glad I didn’t allow him to make “us” official on Facebook, otherwise two weeks it would have been over again.

And yesterday I think I did something really bad for my karma. I was supposed to meet a guy whom I got to know via an online dating site. We have been talking a bit on the phone, already had a date set then he never called on this day. The next day he calls and wants to meet me spontaneously. I told him that I couldn’t that I was already meeting a friend. He suggested that I should cancel…which of course I didn’t. Then we decided on yesterday, texted during the day to fix place and time.
And then I was meeting friends of mine for champagne in the late afternoon. We celebrated the birthday of S. I asked them if they were doing something later, but they told me that they were headed home. So I went to my Pilates class and was astonished when later I had a text from my friends asking me where we should meet for more champagne. Apparently they were still out and about. So I cancelled on this guy super short notice, like 10 minutes before our previously arranged time. Of course he was pissed. He was already waiting…
My girls said I was his punishment for something he did. I am not sure about this reversal logic. I still think one gets everything back in life.

Anyway, tonight I am meeting some close friends for sushi. I am really looking forward to it. The food at Teka Sushi is amazing!

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