Shame on me

There is this saying: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” I am now definitely a fool now!

B and I saw each other Monday night. He texted shortly before 8pm and then called me on my mobile. He was back in Vienna and wanted to know what I was doing. I told him that I was meeting some friends. First he wanted to meet the next day for lunch. When I asked him if he was not working he told me that he had quit his job and was now taking some time off. In the end we decided to meet on Tuesday evening and that we would get in touch in the afternoon for details. Before hanging up he said if I was bored before going to bed I could give him a call.

Which I did, fool that I am. I called him and after 10 minutes on the phone invited him over. Alcohol really makes you lose reason and inhibition. The moment I hung up I knew I made a mistake. But how could I back out of it?

We spent the night together, he was super attentive, cute, said all the right things. Could not have been better. Also it felt so familiar being next to him, being held by him. But truth be told I held back, I didn’t want to be sucked in again so quick, you know? Not pouring out my heart to him, I thought I would just wait and see. Which is so unlike me!

The next morning he gave me a lift to the office. We were still on for the evening. Said we would watch tv together and snack on chips and popcorn. We kissed goodbye and I felt like on cloud seven, walked into the office with a huge goofy grin on my face. Had my doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, sent him a text right after and have not heard back since then.

And although I knew is unreliable, a douche and an a**, it really hurts again…

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