New beginning

Last week I made a decisive step. I deleted all online dating profiles that I had. And there were many. I think I registered with three. With one of them I had been already since 2007. And never in between have I deleted my profile, but only deactivated it so that I could always come back when I wanted to.

Last week I decided that I had enough. I never met anyone really, really special online. Some nice guys, yes, but more douches. And I don’t want to waste my time anymore meeting uninteresting people. I have so many nice friends, I rather spend time with them.

So it was a big step for me to delete it all and I feel so much better for it! Since coming back from Brazil in March I am saving money for my trip. I want to take a year off and just travel the world or at least parts of it. And I also adjusted my life to make these necessary savings. I noticed that I don’t care so much about guys anymore and meeting men is not a priority. To be honest it wouldn’t work with my plan to meet someone now. I want to leave and not be attached to someone.

But it’s kind of interesting what is happening once you are not looking anymore. Last week I met my ex-boyfriend G. whom I dated to years ago. I didn’t go and say hello, the break-up was not so nice. Although to be honest it was me who didn’t want anymore, it was him who cut me of on Facebook. I felt back like in kindergarten. Anyway, I passed him and we had like eye contact for a second. The next day I had an e-mail in my inbox, if it was me who last night. Very funny, of course I never mailed back. Been there, done that. No reason for revisiting!

Yesterday I went swimming with friends and H. joined us. I know him since more 20 years, have always wanted him in a way, but also thought that this friendship is worth a lot more than risking it something casual. I don’t think it would have ever worked. Anyway, he called kind of out of the blue and asked what I was doing. He spent the day with us and it was really relaxing. I like how everything is just happening. No hassle, no drama, just a good vibe.

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