romantic

I miss you

Leaving Aussie guy behind at the 5* hotel in Bangkok was one of the hardest thing to do. First of all it was still early and I knew he was going back to bed and secondly I didn’t know if and when I would see him again.

Apparently he felt the same way because after I had checked in at the airport and had a wi-fi connection I got a text from him that he missed me in his arms already. What can I say? I just melted, probably because he sounded in better shape than last night and maybe, just maybe there would have been a chance to go at it again before he would be sick all over. Plus he called me my love. In hindsight it didn’t mean what it implied but I was ecstatic.

And from then on it all went wrong. Because I answered his one lovely text with about five. Plus I sent another one from the plane. What can I say, it was the first time that I had an Internet connection on a plane. So maybe I should just blame Aeroflot for everything.

Once in Moscow I sent another text, talk about overkill, but then I heard back from him. He had met up with his friends and he was still not feeling well. He was also going home that evening.

Everything that was written above, was written right after everything happened. I don’t really know why I never finished this story. Maybe it was too painful. In a way it still is. But I want to move on with my life and therefore I have decided to write about the end.

We managed to talk twice on the phone. The time difference was a killer. 11 hours are not nothing when you both hold jobs. He promised me that he would like into flights and that he would come and see me in November. I felt loved and cherished by this big guy. I haven’t felt like this in ages. Also I trusted him completely. He was available and reliable and I never feared that I wouldn’t hear from him.

But this is exactly what happened. One day, there was just no answer, no text, no explanation. Just one big silence. And like that he vanished into the night.

Fly me to the moon

Dinner with Aussie didn’t make me sleepy. On the contrary, I was wide awake. Sparks were flying and tension was in the air. When we moved away from the restaurant on our search for a bar we met one of the many floating lantern sellers. And guess what? Aussie was a sucker for romantic gestures and bought a lantern. Just don’t forget that nothing has happened yet.

He paid for the lantern and held it for me to light it with his lighter. Yes, Aussie was a smoker. So very wicked in this day and age. Especially since I had quit years ago. But Aussie was by his own word a holiday smoker. Whatever that means. But so far he had only smoked one cigarette, so maybe he really had his habit under control.

Anyway, I lit the lantern and together we let it go, letting it float away into the dark night. We were watching it getting smaller and smaller and suddenly he pulled me close and kissed me on the lips. That was unexpected. He had appeared so nervous all through dinner, sweating hard and using his napkin every five minutes to pat his forehead dry. Who would have guessed that he had it in him to make a move?

And I loved it! I loved it that he didn’t stick his tongue down my throat right away but gave me a cool, dry kiss on my lips. Then he took my hand and didn’t let it go for the rest of the evening.