feelings

I miss you

Leaving Aussie guy behind at the 5* hotel in Bangkok was one of the hardest thing to do. First of all it was still early and I knew he was going back to bed and secondly I didn’t know if and when I would see him again.

Apparently he felt the same way because after I had checked in at the airport and had a wi-fi connection I got a text from him that he missed me in his arms already. What can I say? I just melted, probably because he sounded in better shape than last night and maybe, just maybe there would have been a chance to go at it again before he would be sick all over. Plus he called me my love. In hindsight it didn’t mean what it implied but I was ecstatic.

And from then on it all went wrong. Because I answered his one lovely text with about five. Plus I sent another one from the plane. What can I say, it was the first time that I had an Internet connection on a plane. So maybe I should just blame Aeroflot for everything.

Once in Moscow I sent another text, talk about overkill, but then I heard back from him. He had met up with his friends and he was still not feeling well. He was also going home that evening.

Everything that was written above, was written right after everything happened. I don’t really know why I never finished this story. Maybe it was too painful. In a way it still is. But I want to move on with my life and therefore I have decided to write about the end.

We managed to talk twice on the phone. The time difference was a killer. 11 hours are not nothing when you both hold jobs. He promised me that he would like into flights and that he would come and see me in November. I felt loved and cherished by this big guy. I haven’t felt like this in ages. Also I trusted him completely. He was available and reliable and I never feared that I wouldn’t hear from him.

But this is exactly what happened. One day, there was just no answer, no text, no explanation. Just one big silence. And like that he vanished into the night.

Saying goodbye

My last morning dawned, not just with Aussie guy but of my trip. Before meeting Aussie I had been backpacking for three months on my own and had the best time of my life. all of a sudden all of this freedom was to end, plus I had to say goodbye to this dreamy package of a man.

Too bad that our last night together couldn’t have been further from romantic, what with Aussie sleeping the sleep of the dead and me praying for him to recover and hoping for a last bout of sexual activity.

It was not to be. I packed up my things while Aussie talked to the toilet bowl again. What can I say, as much as I felt sorry for him, I felt sorry for myself. Shortly before I left the room he gave me his t-shirt in which I met him the first time. Wouldn’t have thought that he would remember that in his condition, but he did.

He managed to accompany me downstairs and wait with me for my cab and then it was already time to say goodbye. One last kiss and a wave and I was on the way to the airport.

Last day together 

Since this is not a fairy tale all good things must come to an end. I had only booked the bungalow in Koh Samui for a week and was flying back home in two days time.

But before it came to this I still had a day with Aussie hunk who also flew with me to Bangkok. With me might be a little bit exaggerated since I had booked my flight already weeks ago (so much for spontaneous traveling, can’t change the Monk in me) and he only two days before.

When booking my flight I had also splurged on a 20$ hotel near the airport, but with pooL, since I was leaving early the day after. Aussie of course had other ideas (and damn the man I loved him for that) and splurged on a 5* hotel with an outdoor pool on the 10th floor overlooking the city. What can I say, as much as I like to sleep in hostels when I’m backpacking I’m also a sucker for grand gestures and luxury gestures just turn me on!

Anyways so he was flying in the morning from Koh Samui while I still had time to pack leisurely and take the plane at noon. When I arrived at the Sofitel he was already waiting for me at our room and I kid you not the sex was that much better with this gorgeous view over Bangkok. Like an extra kick with the huge window front open for the whole world to see. Of course on the 38th floor no one can see anything.

We spent the little rest of the day with a swim in the magnificent pool and later a visit to the pier for dinner. Our night activity was cut short though because he had caught a stomach bug and needed to get back to the hotel where he spent a significant amount of time in the bathroom while I had to watch tv really loud. Don’t you hate these modern rooms which don’t afford you any privacy?

Anyway I am glad we had had the goodbye sex in the afternoon because once he got into bed he fell into a comatose sleep and that was that.

A magic night

I can’t believe I never finished the story with Aussie guy. This was really a magic week in my life. The whole week now seems like a fairy tale when I look back.
This last evening in Koh Samui we went for dinner at a beach restaurant which had individual “tents” for each table. As far as I remember I think we were actually the only occupied table and service was excellent.

Not just the service but also the attention of Aussie guy which was directed at me and only at me. He was basically eating out of the palm of my hand. On that evening we agreed that we would try to make a go of it. So weird since we lived on the other side of the world. But in this day and age what’s a little bit of travel?

He got us a heart lantern which we lit together and let go and I don’t need to tell you what my wish was. I had fallen for this guy and I had fallen hard. When we walked back that evening after a stop at our usual bar, getting pictures taking by the hostess who wanted to know if we will come back for our honeymoon, we again made good use of the pool and made love for most of the night. There was definitely magic in the air.