I miss you

Leaving Aussie guy behind at the 5* hotel in Bangkok was one of the hardest thing to do. First of all it was still early and I knew he was going back to bed and secondly I didn’t know if and when I would see him again.

Apparently he felt the same way because after I had checked in at the airport and had a wi-fi connection I got a text from him that he missed me in his arms already. What can I say? I just melted, probably because he sounded in better shape than last night and maybe, just maybe there would have been a chance to go at it again before he would be sick all over. Plus he called me my love. In hindsight it didn’t mean what it implied but I was ecstatic.

And from then on it all went wrong. Because I answered his one lovely text with about five. Plus I sent another one from the plane. What can I say, it was the first time that I had an Internet connection on a plane. So maybe I should just blame Aeroflot for everything.

Once in Moscow I sent another text, talk about overkill, but then I heard back from him. He had met up with his friends and he was still not feeling well. He was also going home that evening.

Everything that was written above, was written right after everything happened. I don’t really know why I never finished this story. Maybe it was too painful. In a way it still is. But I want to move on with my life and therefore I have decided to write about the end.

We managed to talk twice on the phone. The time difference was a killer. 11 hours are not nothing when you both hold jobs. He promised me that he would like into flights and that he would come and see me in November. I felt loved and cherished by this big guy. I haven’t felt like this in ages. Also I trusted him completely. He was available and reliable and I never feared that I wouldn’t hear from him.

But this is exactly what happened. One day, there was just no answer, no text, no explanation. Just one big silence. And like that he vanished into the night.

Saying goodbye

My last morning dawned, not just with Aussie guy but of my trip. Before meeting Aussie I had been backpacking for three months on my own and had the best time of my life. all of a sudden all of this freedom was to end, plus I had to say goodbye to this dreamy package of a man.

Too bad that our last night together couldn’t have been further from romantic, what with Aussie sleeping the sleep of the dead and me praying for him to recover and hoping for a last bout of sexual activity.

It was not to be. I packed up my things while Aussie talked to the toilet bowl again. What can I say, as much as I felt sorry for him, I felt sorry for myself. Shortly before I left the room he gave me his t-shirt in which I met him the first time. Wouldn’t have thought that he would remember that in his condition, but he did.

He managed to accompany me downstairs and wait with me for my cab and then it was already time to say goodbye. One last kiss and a wave and I was on the way to the airport.

A magic night

I can’t believe I never finished the story with Aussie guy. This was really a magic week in my life. The whole week now seems like a fairy tale when I look back.
This last evening in Koh Samui we went for dinner at a beach restaurant which had individual “tents” for each table. As far as I remember I think we were actually the only occupied table and service was excellent.

Not just the service but also the attention of Aussie guy which was directed at me and only at me. He was basically eating out of the palm of my hand. On that evening we agreed that we would try to make a go of it. So weird since we lived on the other side of the world. But in this day and age what’s a little bit of travel?

He got us a heart lantern which we lit together and let go and I don’t need to tell you what my wish was. I had fallen for this guy and I had fallen hard. When we walked back that evening after a stop at our usual bar, getting pictures taking by the hostess who wanted to know if we will come back for our honeymoon, we again made good use of the pool and made love for most of the night. There was definitely magic in the air.

The best of times

After having finally another undisturbed night (amazing how soon one can forget that) I was ready the next morning to pick my Aussie from the airport. He really was coming back for me (or as one of my friends later said who wouldn’t come to good sex and no strings attached) and planned on staying with me all the way to end of my or respectively his trip.

I had arranged for a cab to take me to the airport and since Koh Samui is such a small place we were in and out in under 5 minutes. Aussie was already waiting for me and while I still looked up on the screen he came over and whispered in my ear if the plane had already arrived. I never even recognized him with his cowboy hat on. He looked amazingly like a douche. Never mind, once in the thralls of love you don’t question your chosen one anymore.

We made it back to the bungalow without embarrassing ourselves in the car (the Thai might be used to tourists but still expect you to behave) but then went right back to bed. House cleaning knocked about three times on the door until we eventually left the bungalow for the beach. The rest of the day was spent with sleeping on the beach by Aussie and reading by me.

Before heading out for dinner we tested the new bed sheets and then I had a lovely meal not far from the hotel. Aussie meanwhile went to a pharmacy. He seemed to have caught a stomach bug and felt queasy. So not romantic at all this time since I had to eat alone. That didn’t diminish my appetite though. After traveling for three months I was used to eating alone and had paid my dues in stomach problems. The cure to all that is alcohol.

So before heading home we stopped at a bar near our place which we had already frequented on our second night together. There we were greeted like long-lost friends and the girls behind the bar looked happy for me when I showed up with Aussie again (the evening before I came alone). Gin Tonic always works like a charm and when we cam back to the bungalow Aussie was up for another tumble between the sheets.

He fell asleep like a stone right after, but I lay awake as usual. But I was happy, so happy to be next to my hunky Aussie. He was holding me tight and if I moved around he would just follow me. So lovely!

 

Who would have thought?

Leaving my mobile in the bungalow while going to the beach was the best idea ever. It gave me time to relax and catch up on some much-needed sleep after two almost sleepless nights. When I arrived back in my room in the early evening I had two messages. The first one said that Aussie had safely arrived in Bangkok and was waiting for his connection and the second one was from 10 minutes earlier in which he told me that “he had made a mistake and that he should have stayed with me”.

Wow, I didn’t see that coming. And now, here we go with my usual pattern of not playing by the rules. Because I had nothing better to do than to answer right away, telling him that I would have liked to get to know him better. Which was a kind of an okay answer, but still. I should have just gone for dinner and a massage and should have kept him waiting. But no, Miss ÜberNice has to answer right away. I really don’t get myself. Aussie left me hanging here and still I answer him. And I do it right away!!! Just because he texted something that I wanted to hear. Urgh!!!

And then he said that if I was still up for it he would stay in Chiang Mai for just a day and then come back to Koh Samui. At least here I had the dignity to tell him (although again right away) that I was still up for it but I heard it all before and that he should get the ticket first and then let me know. Yeah, finally a decent answer to his lousy behavior.

The evening was then spent with a couple of more texts and pictures and me telling him at 9:30 that I was going to bed since I had not slept enough with him around. When I woke around midnight I was in pain.

Since I knew the signs I figured I had a UTI. Great, exactly what I needed when I was all alone in a strange country. At least I knew what to do. After another 30 minutes of hoping that my cranberry pills would help I eventually settled on a text to Aussie (no point of not sharing since it was his fault anyway; ok maybe mine too since we were both participating) and on leaving the bungalow. The pain had increased exponentially and the point of self-medication had passed. It was time to look for professional help.

Under the circumstances I was really lucky because after not even 10 minutes of walking on the road I found a taxi at 1:30 in the morning. I asked for either a pharmacy or a hospital but after two closed pharmacies I decided I had no more time to waste.

The hospital visit then was compared to getting there uneventful and except for the embarrassing moment when the doctor asked about how I had gotten the UTI it was pretty straight forward. Not even 30 minutes later did I leave the hospital with antibiotics in hands and in tow of the taxi driver. Soon I was back at the bungalow where I had to wait another half an hour until I could finally go back to bed without too much pain.

The next day then was spent mostly in bed and on the beach. There was really no reason to go anywhere, I just needed to catch up on sleep. So when I got a text in the late afternoon that Aussie had booked his ticket I was elated but still weak. Never mind, he was taking the morning flight to come back to me.

What a difference a day makes

After coming back to my bungalow with his freshly laundered shirts Aussie put his passport in my safe and basically settled in at my place. We showered, left for dinner at the local market hall (I really wanted to have some Thai food and not a westernized version of it) and later went for drinks on the way back to the bungalow.

But in all honesty we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and just wanted to get back to my place. The moment we stepped across the door we fell on the bed and after another passionate encounter we jumped into the pool again. This time I forewent the bikini right away, no point in playing the blushing bride when I had given everything away already.

It didn’t change the fact though that Aussie was terrible pleased to see me and called me gorgeous the whole time. I am a sucker for compliments and the older I get the more I love them. When I was younger I was always embarrassed when someone paid me a compliment. Now I love them since at any given moment I am my youngest self. I can’t get much better than now.

I had another sleepless night and not only because of Aussie’s wanted attention. I still couldn’t sleep next to someone I didn’t really know and for whom I had extreme cravings. Whenever I touched him my body started to heat up and radiated fire. I tossed and turned in between waking him to stop snoring. Besides the erotic administrations to my body I didn’t sleep well.

We woke up early and Aussie left to drive to his hotel to say goodbye to his mates and get his stuff. In my super happy mood due to lack of sleep and the love vibe I updated my blog and was totally astonished when not even 30 minutes later Aussie was back. He knocked and then entered the bungalow with the words: “I have bad news for you”. I remember thinking why only me? Because right away I knew what he meant.

And excuse me? WTF? Didn’t he tell me yesterday that he was totally into me and rather wanted to stay with me than travel with his friends? I had told him that my girls wouldn’t let that happen because when you book a trip together you stay together and no cares if the ONS was so good that you want second helpings. But Aussie said no worries, his mates are different.

Turns out they were not so different after all and Aussie now really wanted to go to Chiang Mai because he had never been there and it might be his only chance and blah blah blah. I have to tell you, afterwards I was super proud of myself because I told him I understand if I was him I would go to. That Chiang Mai was beautiful and that an elephant ride was amazing. While the whole time I thought to myself wtf, wtf, wtf!! Really, not cool.

Anyway, he also said that he would come to Bangkok a day earlier so that we would see each other again.  I had planned my trip so that I was leaving Koh Samui with a spare day in Bangkok since I had an early flight back home. When he talked about Bangkok I almost got pissed because that just sounded like plain lies and who wants to hear that when you are just unceremoniously dumped.

He left with his freshly laundered clothes still packed and his passport and off he was. and what did I do? I moped around the whole morning, went for breakfast to get coffee because when I am “love-sick” I can’t eat anything and told myself to get a grip! It was not possible to travel for three months alone in SE Asia and then to fall for one douche and ruin my last week of vacation over it. It had been the oldest trick in the book to tell nice little nothings and get the girl to believe. And after such a long and dry sexual spell his words fell on fertile ground and I was caught hook, line and sinker.

And I wanted to be caught. Because wasn’t that what I was looking for in the first place? Let’s be honest here, who goes on Tinder to find friends? Maybe you accept them as friends when the attraction isn’t there. But in the first place you look for someone special. And there is no need to define special, you never know what you get and what will happen. What I know is that it is rare at my age to meet someone and to have instant attraction, that’s something that almost never happens anymore. It does but they are few and with long breaks in between.

So after wasting the whole morning I gave myself a stern talking that this was it with the moping. I have had it with this instant dependency on some random guy to make me feel better about myself. I am good looking and my age be damned I can still have my fun. So I sent him a text around noon, telling him “Enjoy the North, you’ll love it! xoxo”. And with that I left my phone in the room and went to the beach.

Surprise, surprise

I spent my morning sleeping, breakfasting and then finally going to the beach when I got a text from Aussie guy asking me if I still wanted to go jet-skiing with him today. Really, he texted? After a ONS? Who would have thought that.

I mean I had put him down as a really nice guy, but still I was surprised in a good way. On the other hand maybe he just wanted some more of the good stuff. After all we were both on vacation. Mine was more like a trip of a life time with three months ending here on this island but he was really just on vacation fleeing winter in Australia.

Around 3:30pm or so he picked me up from my end of the beach to then walk all the way back to a jet-ski rental. I noticed that our ‘hello’ seemed natural enough, he might have been nervous but I definitely wasn’t. I expected nothing and had therefore nothing to lose.

He rented a jet-ski and I sat down in front of him. Being held by him (or at least to have the chance to lean into him) while on this thing of hell felt great. He was very much into it and told me the whole time that the jet-ski he had at home was more powerful and could do better stuff. Who really cares about that? I don’t even like to drive a car. But I loved that I was sitting in front with his arms around me and him always checking that the ride was good for me. This guy just got better and better.

After we gave back the jet-ski we decided on visiting another beach which he had checked out the day before with his mates. With his motorbike we drove first back to the rental place to get a another helmet for him. I never met a person before who was so concerned for safety and also lived it. So far on my whole trip in SE Asia I wasn’t wearing a helmet once. But he insisted. I of course took that as a sign that he cared.

When we finally arrived at the beach it was already late afternoon. We walked together into the water and then we just kept hugging each other. He was the one who kept standing and I was tightly wrapped around his body. Poor Aussie hurt his feet a lot on the sharp stones that were in the water. It was not easy to just stand still.

While in the water we talked again that he was leaving the next day for Chang Mai but that he really wanted to stay with me instead. I told him that my offer was still on the table. Plus we both told each other that we were very much into each other! We eventually made it out of the water (there was a certain waiting period involved until Monsieur could walk out) and drove back to my place.

Suddenly though we had a flat tire and no repair place nearby. I wanted to walk to town while he found help but he insisted on my staying at a restaurant close by, drinking something and relaxing while took care of it. He even gave me money because I had nothing on me.

By then I felt something shifting inside me. This guy was so young (11 years my junior) but so nice (and again I mean that in the best possible way) and I noticed that I fell for him. How is that possible after one day? Was I really so love-starved that I needed attention so much?

When he finally picked me up again he drove first to his cleaner to get his laundry which he already wanted to leave at my place  So it was decided. He would cancel the trip with his mates and stay with me for the rest of his vacation.

Good morning

Good morning, good morning, I could have hugged the whole world after this glorious night! What more did I want after three months of traveling alone to meet a really great guy and have the perfect night with him? There was no need for anything else, I had gotten more than I expected (way more in all ways!) and was super pleased with myself.

When Aussie left my bed after one more adulation of my body he asked me if I wanted to go jet-skiing in the afternoon. Sure, I was all for it, knowing I would never hear from him again. Because isn’t Tinder just an instrument to hook up and have sex? That’s what I have heard at least.  Because I had never done it with anyone else from tinder, most guys I had met were douches and the ones who weren’t just didn’t tickle my fancy. So I said sure, let’s do that. We even exchanged numbers to get off from Tinder and talk via What’s App and then Aussie left.

It was glorious to have my bed all to myself and to finally get some sleep. I felt used in the perfect way and my body hurt just in the right places. What an awesome feeling especially since I hadn’t done it in ages. Now I knew again what all the hype was about and I couldn’t believe myself that I had passed on these tinglings for ages. Not again I promised myself. I would get right back to it once I was home.

Meanwhile here in Thailand I would just relax and take whatever comes my way. For the moment that meant just my bed, catching up on sleep and then later going for breakfast. That is what vacation is all about.