The standards of dating

This is not a Tinder story, but it definitely could be. Last weekend I was invited to a party. More like an event than a party at my age.

The evening started with dinner and since we were many, the hosts had drawn a seating chart. In front of the chart stood the chef of the restaurant. Young, cute and quite the charmer.

I batted my eyes a bit and hoped for the best. And it worked! He noticed me and we started some chitchat. Of course during dinner there was no chance to see him. When it was time for dessert it was him who handed it out.

By then I was hopelessly “smitten”; you won’t believe how good the food was which added immensely to his sex appeal. While drinking shots with the other guest I kept up eye contact from time to time. I really thought I was one smooth cougar.

But then I heard that he has a girlfriend. Ugh, of course. How could it be otherwise. I gave up on any idea and left early with friends to hit the designated party spot. We advanced to Gin&Tonic which always helps to drown sorrow.

Oh, but what a joy! About an hour later the chef walks in and after drinking some more makes a beeline straight to me. Hah, I still have what it takes apparently. Will write that down in my book.

Too bad that he was drunk as a skunk by then. So was not really that much of a compliment. He did ask my age though and didn’t run away, which I liked. But that could have also been the amount of alcohol.

He kept coming on to ask me to go for a drink. Wasn’t sure what he meant with “let’s go to the back of the bar” since we were already in the back of the bar. But then I caught a fleeting glance of a very young, blond girl who tried to kill me with its menace. And I knew exactly what I had to do.

I whispered softly in his ear that this is just not my style and neither should it be his. Turned around and ordered another Gin&Tonic with my friends. Very happy though that the 14 years difference didn’t faze him.

PS: do you think my standards are too high? Shouldn’t I just think about what makes me happy? Is it okay to find it weird that a guy wants to make out although his gf is right behind him? What has changed in the last couple of years that this apparently is okay behavior?

I miss you

Leaving Aussie guy behind at the 5* hotel in Bangkok was one of the hardest thing to do. First of all it was still early and I knew he was going back to bed and secondly I didn’t know if and when I would see him again.

Apparently he felt the same way because after I had checked in at the airport and had a wi-fi connection I got a text from him that he missed me in his arms already. What can I say? I just melted, probably because he sounded in better shape than last night and maybe, just maybe there would have been a chance to go at it again before he would be sick all over. Plus he called me my love. In hindsight it didn’t mean what it implied but I was ecstatic.

And from then on it all went wrong. Because I answered his one lovely text with about five. Plus I sent another one from the plane. What can I say, it was the first time that I had an Internet connection on a plane. So maybe I should just blame Aeroflot for everything.

Once in Moscow I sent another text, talk about overkill, but then I heard back from him. He had met up with his friends and he was still not feeling well. He was also going home that evening.

Everything that was written above, was written right after everything happened. I don’t really know why I never finished this story. Maybe it was too painful. In a way it still is. But I want to move on with my life and therefore I have decided to write about the end.

We managed to talk twice on the phone. The time difference was a killer. 11 hours are not nothing when you both hold jobs. He promised me that he would like into flights and that he would come and see me in November. I felt loved and cherished by this big guy. I haven’t felt like this in ages. Also I trusted him completely. He was available and reliable and I never feared that I wouldn’t hear from him.

But this is exactly what happened. One day, there was just no answer, no text, no explanation. Just one big silence. And like that he vanished into the night.

Saying goodbye

My last morning dawned, not just with Aussie guy but of my trip. Before meeting Aussie I had been backpacking for three months on my own and had the best time of my life. all of a sudden all of this freedom was to end, plus I had to say goodbye to this dreamy package of a man.

Too bad that our last night together couldn’t have been further from romantic, what with Aussie sleeping the sleep of the dead and me praying for him to recover and hoping for a last bout of sexual activity.

It was not to be. I packed up my things while Aussie talked to the toilet bowl again. What can I say, as much as I felt sorry for him, I felt sorry for myself. Shortly before I left the room he gave me his t-shirt in which I met him the first time. Wouldn’t have thought that he would remember that in his condition, but he did.

He managed to accompany me downstairs and wait with me for my cab and then it was already time to say goodbye. One last kiss and a wave and I was on the way to the airport.

A magic night

I can’t believe I never finished the story with Aussie guy. This was really a magic week in my life. The whole week now seems like a fairy tale when I look back.
This last evening in Koh Samui we went for dinner at a beach restaurant which had individual “tents” for each table. As far as I remember I think we were actually the only occupied table and service was excellent.

Not just the service but also the attention of Aussie guy which was directed at me and only at me. He was basically eating out of the palm of my hand. On that evening we agreed that we would try to make a go of it. So weird since we lived on the other side of the world. But in this day and age what’s a little bit of travel?

He got us a heart lantern which we lit together and let go and I don’t need to tell you what my wish was. I had fallen for this guy and I had fallen hard. When we walked back that evening after a stop at our usual bar, getting pictures taking by the hostess who wanted to know if we will come back for our honeymoon, we again made good use of the pool and made love for most of the night. There was definitely magic in the air.

Flying through the woods

I had another sleepless night (why should it have been different after a two-day break?) and we woke up to another sunny day. Aussie went out before breakfast to rent us a motorbike and came back with coffee and macaroons. You just had to love this guy! So thoughtful!

Before heading out for breakfast we tested the bed springs again which were still in amazingly good shape (us too). After breakfast we had a zip-lining tour planned, something I had done just the previous month in Laos. I had told Aussie about it and he was all for it. So I booked us onto a tour but we wanted to head to the starting point ourselves. Exploring the island and so.

It was definitely not easy finding the place but eventually we arrived and were told it was just a short walk from the parking. So before going there we sat down for a coffee and then Aussie told me that he was afraid of heights. WTF? Why didn’t he tell me that before? I would never have booked us on this tour if I had known. Because what’s the point? He was afraid and I had already done the most amazing zip-lines in Laos. Really, guys … I will never get them.

To make a long story short we both got into our harness, walked with a group of 15 people to the first high stand and practiced the brake-maneuver. Aussie wanted to go last and just before I went I asked him if he was fine. I told him that would go back with him if he wanted to get out, but he said no, he was be fine. He chickened out the moment I left the high stand. The first minute I was angry but then I decided to enjoy myself. Because didn’t he let me go first so that I had to stay on the course?

Anyway there was nothing else to do than just go ahead and zip through the trees. And I loved it as much as I had loved it in Laos, although the course was shorter and easier. Still it was exhilarating! So when I came back to Aussie who had in the meantime taken a nap in a hammock I was in a great mood. I had also thought about his fear of heights and had started to appreciate his courage to back down before he went on the course. Once on it there would have been no way down for him and he would have ruined this adventure for everyone else. It cannot be easy to admit in front of of strangers that one is afraid.

The rest of the afternoon was spent on the beach after a sumptuous lunch which Aussie started with a whiskey since his stomach trouble had returned. I of course had no such problems after my time on the road and just tucked in. Later I slept on the beach while he went jet-skiing. This time I didn’t go with him; while I liked it the first time, it definitely didn’t thrill me as much as him and I am was sure he would enjoy it more if he went out alone. Also I rather wanted to read my book.

When the sun started to go down we drove back to the little bungalow to get ready for our last evening on the island.

The best of times

After having finally another undisturbed night (amazing how soon one can forget that) I was ready the next morning to pick my Aussie from the airport. He really was coming back for me (or as one of my friends later said who wouldn’t come to good sex and no strings attached) and planned on staying with me all the way to end of my or respectively his trip.

I had arranged for a cab to take me to the airport and since Koh Samui is such a small place we were in and out in under 5 minutes. Aussie was already waiting for me and while I still looked up on the screen he came over and whispered in my ear if the plane had already arrived. I never even recognized him with his cowboy hat on. He looked amazingly like a douche. Never mind, once in the thralls of love you don’t question your chosen one anymore.

We made it back to the bungalow without embarrassing ourselves in the car (the Thai might be used to tourists but still expect you to behave) but then went right back to bed. House cleaning knocked about three times on the door until we eventually left the bungalow for the beach. The rest of the day was spent with sleeping on the beach by Aussie and reading by me.

Before heading out for dinner we tested the new bed sheets and then I had a lovely meal not far from the hotel. Aussie meanwhile went to a pharmacy. He seemed to have caught a stomach bug and felt queasy. So not romantic at all this time since I had to eat alone. That didn’t diminish my appetite though. After traveling for three months I was used to eating alone and had paid my dues in stomach problems. The cure to all that is alcohol.

So before heading home we stopped at a bar near our place which we had already frequented on our second night together. There we were greeted like long-lost friends and the girls behind the bar looked happy for me when I showed up with Aussie again (the evening before I came alone). Gin Tonic always works like a charm and when we cam back to the bungalow Aussie was up for another tumble between the sheets.

He fell asleep like a stone right after, but I lay awake as usual. But I was happy, so happy to be next to my hunky Aussie. He was holding me tight and if I moved around he would just follow me. So lovely!

 

Who would have thought?

Leaving my mobile in the bungalow while going to the beach was the best idea ever. It gave me time to relax and catch up on some much-needed sleep after two almost sleepless nights. When I arrived back in my room in the early evening I had two messages. The first one said that Aussie had safely arrived in Bangkok and was waiting for his connection and the second one was from 10 minutes earlier in which he told me that “he had made a mistake and that he should have stayed with me”.

Wow, I didn’t see that coming. And now, here we go with my usual pattern of not playing by the rules. Because I had nothing better to do than to answer right away, telling him that I would have liked to get to know him better. Which was a kind of an okay answer, but still. I should have just gone for dinner and a massage and should have kept him waiting. But no, Miss ÜberNice has to answer right away. I really don’t get myself. Aussie left me hanging here and still I answer him. And I do it right away!!! Just because he texted something that I wanted to hear. Urgh!!!

And then he said that if I was still up for it he would stay in Chiang Mai for just a day and then come back to Koh Samui. At least here I had the dignity to tell him (although again right away) that I was still up for it but I heard it all before and that he should get the ticket first and then let me know. Yeah, finally a decent answer to his lousy behavior.

The evening was then spent with a couple of more texts and pictures and me telling him at 9:30 that I was going to bed since I had not slept enough with him around. When I woke around midnight I was in pain.

Since I knew the signs I figured I had a UTI. Great, exactly what I needed when I was all alone in a strange country. At least I knew what to do. After another 30 minutes of hoping that my cranberry pills would help I eventually settled on a text to Aussie (no point of not sharing since it was his fault anyway; ok maybe mine too since we were both participating) and on leaving the bungalow. The pain had increased exponentially and the point of self-medication had passed. It was time to look for professional help.

Under the circumstances I was really lucky because after not even 10 minutes of walking on the road I found a taxi at 1:30 in the morning. I asked for either a pharmacy or a hospital but after two closed pharmacies I decided I had no more time to waste.

The hospital visit then was compared to getting there uneventful and except for the embarrassing moment when the doctor asked about how I had gotten the UTI it was pretty straight forward. Not even 30 minutes later did I leave the hospital with antibiotics in hands and in tow of the taxi driver. Soon I was back at the bungalow where I had to wait another half an hour until I could finally go back to bed without too much pain.

The next day then was spent mostly in bed and on the beach. There was really no reason to go anywhere, I just needed to catch up on sleep. So when I got a text in the late afternoon that Aussie had booked his ticket I was elated but still weak. Never mind, he was taking the morning flight to come back to me.

The night is not for sleeping

Of course there was not a chance that I could sleep during this night. First of all I can never sleep next to someone I don’t know, especially if this someone is a guy and holding me in his arms. The heat alone keeps me awake. And then of course Aussie had only started with his administrations to my body.

Since we had used all protection I really thought this was it for the night. But young guys are young for a reason and they have a lot more stamina than older ones (yeah, way to go). So what felt like an hour but was probably just a couple of minutes later he was already in the mood again. However now we faced the problem that there was nothing available anymore and it was in the middle of the night. But guess what?

He told me he would check something and get back asap. I thought this was going to be it and tried to get some sleep while he was gone. Surely nothing on this island would be open and anyway I was all the way at the end of the beach. But not even ten minutes later Aussie was back in the room. He had given the night security a big tip and the guy gave him a lift to the next 7-eleven store where he bought everything from condoms to lube.

First I was insulted that he had bought some lube but when he explained that he didn’t want to hurt me I found it charming. And anyway I really needed it because I would not have made it through the night without the added layer of lubrication. I still don’t know if this is an age issue or not. Or maybe it’s just me?

As it turned out Aussie was quite provident. We need it his purchase again in the morning. By then I was sure I would never walk again and was more than grateful for the lube.  What a hunk!

Let’s go to sleep

We rushed from the pool to the bungalow and landed immediately on the bed after a perfunctorily towel using. The AC had been on full blast before so that when we checked the room first we had to increase the heat and wait out the warming of the room in the pool. As much as we had the hots for each other we both didn’t want to freeze to death while doing it.

So when we could finally use the room we towel dried each other only superficially and moved right away to the bed. Oh heaven, it was perfect. There had been nobody since Special K and this had already been a while ago. And although I was afraid that it wouldn’t be good the first time, there was no reason for it. I might have been a bit unprepared in all possible ways and we were both in such a hurry to do the deed to not make time for me to be fully in slick mode.

Still, it was perfect the first time around and I was more than happy to use one of my two condoms that I had brought with me on this trip! Afterwards we were so sweaty that we took another dip in the pool (gross, I know) and when we came back to the bungalow we took more time to enjoy each other. By then it was obvious for both of us that even though I was totally hot for Aussie, my body was not showing the right signs.

Is that an age thing? If you haven’t done it in a long time, can you really dry up? Is it therefore necessary to always do it and if nobody is at hands then do it myself?

Questions over questions but while the second time was as good as the first I felt a bit raw already and not just because my body was not reacting the way it’s supposed to but also because Aussie was a hunk. Something I never ever thought I would complain about but in this situation a little bit smaller would have gone a long way.

At least after the second time all condoms were used and I knew this was it for the night. I tried to fall asleep which was as always impossible with someone new next to me and anyway Aussie had different plans. But until then he held me tightly in his arms so that nobody could steal me away. Really the best way to fall asleep if you can.

First impressions

I arrived at an English pub and it was good enough for me. why search for an Irish one when I had already walked for more than 30 minutes or so…. When I saw “The Scribbler” (it was probably called something different) I decided to stop there for  a beer and send a text in the hope that my date still gets it. That’s always the problem on vacation that you have to rely on wifi for what’s app. Since I only stayed for a week in Thailand there was no need to buy a Sim card.

Anyway, I sat down and ordered a large beer. I was hot and sweaty and then sent a text on Tinder using the chance while being logged on to peruse his pictures again. Certainly not impressive but I just wanted to have a fun evening and had no ulterior motive. He was fun and quick to answer while messaging and since I am the “Queen of small talk” I thought it would go well. And if not then I still had a second date lined up.

He wrote back that he was running late, they had just arrived back at the hotel. He told me in the beginning that he was traveling with two friends and that they had rented motorbikes. No worries here, I had a book with me and didn’t mind the wait. I was on vacation after all and had already 3 months of these under my belt. So who cares if I had to wait for a bit while drinking a cold beer and reading a good book?

When he, let’s call him Aussie, came in I recognized him right away. Probably because he had told me that he  was wearing a purple shirt. He looked bigger than on his pictures. But in a good way, more trained. But not something I really go for usually. He carried a small man purse as well, something I would usually not tolerate. Actually usually I would run and scream at the same time and just flee the scene. But in this case it was different, he had a sincere smile. I got up and we said hello the European way. Don’t blame me, I am from Europe plus I felt the alcohol. I didn’t have any lunch and had almost finished my large beer.

Also, and this I probably liked best, he didn’t look his age. That might sound mean now but my biggest fear was that he would look way younger than me. He was 11 years my junior. I really cannot imagine anything worse than being seen in public with a guy and I look like his mother. But three months of traveling were doing wonders to my skin and my overall complexion. I looked young and vibrant and next to him possible even a bit younger than him. But only because Aussie looked about my age. Yes, too much sun is really bad for you! Always, always use sunscreen!