Wow, it has been quite a while since I wrote anything here. This is probably because I keep busy with my other blog (click here if you want to see). But also because nothing, and I really mean nothing, has happened in the relationship department. No matter in what sense I use this word. Since Special K nothing/nobody of interest has crossed my way and there was so much else to do.
I will take three-month off work and travel. This is something I have wanted to do since a very long time. More than two years actually, ever since I came back from Brazil I wanted to quit and leave. I won’t be quitting now but get time off. And it is not the asked for year but only three months. But it is a start and I will take it from there.
What I have noticed as well since my leaving day is coming nearer and nearer I am meeting more and more guys. I seem to attract them now since I have no time and interest. Problem is, the moment I am showing interest, there is nothing happening again.
For example last week. I went out with a couple of friends, sure to be back home by 10pm latest after two glasses of wine. How I erred, I came home to the birds already singing. At the bar we went to I met a guy, let’s call him FX. He is not good-looking but has a certain humor and intellect which was clearly visible on this night and I had so much fun with him. He was complimenting me all the time, dancing with me, getting me drinks and being attentive all around. So before leaving the club he tells me that he must see me again and gives me his card to call him. Something I never do, which I let him know. So he takes my number and gives me a kiss square on the mouth and afterwards says that even though it was quite forward I will probably have all forgotten about it by the next morning. Which clearly I have not.
And I also didn’t forget that he wanted to see me again. So guess what happened? He never called. This is almost a week ago. I mean how long does he want to wait? And why am I so pissed that he doesn’t call?
I don’t get myself, there is so much to look forward to. And I haven’t really cared about anyone in a long time. And then I meet this guy, like him, get the vibe he does too and then nothing. Urgh!!! Men!!
Please explain, I am lost here.
Yesterday was a national holiday and after a late morning run I was sitting at home trying to catch my breath when I suddenly get a text from B. via what’s app. I haven’t heard from hom since April 11 when he told me that he was back in Slovenia for a funeral. Since then nothing, nada, zip.
So yesterday all of a sudden I get his text in which he tells me that he doesn’t like Vienna at all, that hasn’t been back the last couple of weeks and already looks forward to Friday when he goes back to Slovenia. Apparently he turned int a country bumpkin (his words).
I said hello and that is was nice to hear from him. And then I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone. I am not sure what I wanted to say to him, but am tired of always texting via what’s app. That’s not a conversation, it’s just a pile of words. So he wrote back that he would love to in the evening. Because now that he is here he wants to drive to his brother’s place and see his nieces.
So I told him sure, he should just give me a call. If I was still out I would call him when I was back home. I had plans myself yesterday afternoon and went wine tasting with some friends.
Returned home around 8pm, quite inhibited and almost fell asleep on the couch.
He deigned to send a text at 9:30pm that he was now out himself…?
What was there not to understand, I told him he should get in touch when he was available and if I was still out I would call back. Whatever!!
Of course I am angry with myself that he still enervates me. Why oh why am I not standing above this? Why do I still take this to heart. I know that his text was some kind of weird excuse for him. He never gets in touch when he is not in the country and this was probably his way of explaining. But what’s the point. He doesn’t care, not about me or my feelings. Why does he even get in touch? Maybe he just wants to have a good time while he is here and then he goes back home to his wife/gf. I still believe there is someone. Maybe if I ever see or hear him again I will have the courage to ask him. He might not even lie. Because what would be the point?
I don’t think he will get in touch today. He probably has plans and tomorrow he goes south again. He will probably text again when he is in the city.
But I am proud as well cause I deleted his texts already this morning. Ok, I was disappointed after waking up at 6am and seeing he never texted or called during the night. Will I be ever smart with this guy?