Thursday night I was out with my girls. There is a monthly party here in Vienna called ‘Thirty Dancing’ which is the perfect place to be if you want to meet people. We have no place like it in Vienna where one can meet so many ‘right age group’ people. As the name implies one has to be over thirty to get in.
It is socially very interesting to observe that the guests consist mostly of older women and younger men in the beginning of the evening (it starts at 7) and then kind of turns around 11. Why is that? What exactly are younger guys seeing in older woman? And when does this change? I mean there are no men over 50 with older women (at least not out in public and unless one looks like Susan Sarandon…).
Anyway I am losing sight here of what I wanted to say. My point is that I had fun partying with my friends. And two guys came up to me and talked to me which rarely happens. They were both cute. We didn’t exchange any details but I like the fact that I get talked up again and that guys are approaching me.
That must mean that not only do I feel relaxed but also that it’s noticeable. Love it, love it, love it!
I met the first guy finally last Friday. C looked like a geek from his picture but turned out even worse. We were actually supposed to meet before but then settled on last Friday.
The day after talking to him I noticed that it was soccer qualification night with an exceptionally important game for Austria (which we lost but that’s another story). Anyway, in my mind I was like, no way I am going to see it with this guy I don’t know. I want to have some fun and see it together with friends. So I made plans for the night and thought to myself that I will just have to let the guy know.
Come Friday night I leave my Pilates class when I get a call from C that he was already at our meeting place. Sh*t I forgot to cancel. So had to meet him since we made plans first. Canceled my friends on the way to the bar and just accepted my fate. It was all my fault anyway.
On seeing him disappointment kept coming in waves. He looked even worse than expected. You know pictures can only show so much from a person. He looked exactly like his picture but also a lot worse. Plus his style, his cheap personality and his overall cockiness just added to the conviction that this will be a one time event. Since the game was already running I stayed and spent the evening. When we said goodnight later he apparently had had a different impression from how our date went and instead airkissing my cheek he zoomed in on my mouth. I could just turn my head in time to avoid a smacker. Just writing about it makes me almost sick. So this was C.
Monday night I met P. P is nine years older than I, so not at all my usual type. But I thought I would branch out a bit, not that I was so successful with my type before. I was late on meeting him (sent him a text of course) because I had to work late and wanted to go for a run and didn’t want to cancel that just for a date. So shortly before I arrive I get a text from him that he is waiting inside in the smoking zone. Don’t ask, we still have that here. Austria is a bit backwards when it comes to health issues.
So I was already miffed when I arrived. What was the point of washing my hair if I would smell like an ashtray after? Once I arrive at our table I looked at him and got a faint feeling of recognition. And indeed, an hour into hour conversation (which flowed easily) he mentioned his former employer and all of a sudden I remembered. “OMG, I met you ten years ago already at the same dating platform”. First he was like this cannot be but upon asking me why it never worked out between us I told him that at that time he listed himself as divorced in his profile while in the meantime he was still married. I never ever date married guys. There is only heartache and pain in store as far as I know from all my friends. And you know what’s funny, he told me that he still was married. The cheek of it!
Yesterday was a national holiday and after a late morning run I was sitting at home trying to catch my breath when I suddenly get a text from B. via what’s app. I haven’t heard from hom since April 11 when he told me that he was back in Slovenia for a funeral. Since then nothing, nada, zip.
So yesterday all of a sudden I get his text in which he tells me that he doesn’t like Vienna at all, that hasn’t been back the last couple of weeks and already looks forward to Friday when he goes back to Slovenia. Apparently he turned int a country bumpkin (his words).
I said hello and that is was nice to hear from him. And then I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone. I am not sure what I wanted to say to him, but am tired of always texting via what’s app. That’s not a conversation, it’s just a pile of words. So he wrote back that he would love to in the evening. Because now that he is here he wants to drive to his brother’s place and see his nieces.
So I told him sure, he should just give me a call. If I was still out I would call him when I was back home. I had plans myself yesterday afternoon and went wine tasting with some friends.
Returned home around 8pm, quite inhibited and almost fell asleep on the couch.
He deigned to send a text at 9:30pm that he was now out himself…?
What was there not to understand, I told him he should get in touch when he was available and if I was still out I would call back. Whatever!!
Of course I am angry with myself that he still enervates me. Why oh why am I not standing above this? Why do I still take this to heart. I know that his text was some kind of weird excuse for him. He never gets in touch when he is not in the country and this was probably his way of explaining. But what’s the point. He doesn’t care, not about me or my feelings. Why does he even get in touch? Maybe he just wants to have a good time while he is here and then he goes back home to his wife/gf. I still believe there is someone. Maybe if I ever see or hear him again I will have the courage to ask him. He might not even lie. Because what would be the point?
I don’t think he will get in touch today. He probably has plans and tomorrow he goes south again. He will probably text again when he is in the city.
But I am proud as well cause I deleted his texts already this morning. Ok, I was disappointed after waking up at 6am and seeing he never texted or called during the night. Will I be ever smart with this guy?
I haven’t heard from B until last Thursday. Although he had asked me in his texts the Saturday before last if we will see each other last week. No sign from him at all. And then last Thursday quite late I get a text from him that he is checking his text daily hoping to hear from me and always being disappointed.
He told me that he was still in Slovenia but that he will come back to Vienna on Sunday. And then he asked me if we can write each other until we see each other again. And that his longing for me almost hurts.
Then on Friday morning I sent him a text that I woke up thinking about him. And to this I get no answer. Nothing, nada. So this morning, it already being Monday, I sent him his text back “we will write each other, yes?” and also wrote “You, too?”.
So far he has not seen it, and there is of course no answer. What am I to do. I have a feeling he writes only when he had something to drink and feels a bit lonely. Otherwise there is never anything from him. I don’t know how to get him out of my system. It’s not as if we had such a long relationship. Basically only days, since most of the times I have been on vacation while we ware dating.
Just now got a text from him. Of course we will write each other. He is just now on the way back to Vienna…
Sh*t, I am excited. Where will this all lead??
V on the other hand wants to come to see me in Vienna in July. He still wants me to cancel my trip to
Moscow. And if he knew that just today I booked a trip to Greece I am sure he would be mad again. So it’s good that he doesn’t know!