Dinner with Aussie didn’t make me sleepy. On the contrary, I was wide awake. Sparks were flying and tension was in the air. When we moved away from the restaurant on our search for a bar we met one of the many floating lantern sellers. And guess what? Aussie was a sucker for romantic gestures and bought a lantern. Just don’t forget that nothing has happened yet.
He paid for the lantern and held it for me to light it with his lighter. Yes, Aussie was a smoker. So very wicked in this day and age. Especially since I had quit years ago. But Aussie was by his own word a holiday smoker. Whatever that means. But so far he had only smoked one cigarette, so maybe he really had his habit under control.
Anyway, I lit the lantern and together we let it go, letting it float away into the dark night. We were watching it getting smaller and smaller and suddenly he pulled me close and kissed me on the lips. That was unexpected. He had appeared so nervous all through dinner, sweating hard and using his napkin every five minutes to pat his forehead dry. Who would have guessed that he had it in him to make a move?
And I loved it! I loved it that he didn’t stick his tongue down my throat right away but gave me a cool, dry kiss on my lips. Then he took my hand and didn’t let it go for the rest of the evening.
Aussie ordered a large beer for himself and a small one for me. Then he put the glass to his mouth and only set it down once three-quarters of its content had vanished. Great either he tried to catch up or I don’t know what.
Once the glass was back on the table we started talking and after about 10 minutes I got the impression that it was not going so well. My ‘Queen of small talk’ quality had left the premise once it noticed that Aussie was not the talker. Great, so here I was sitting with a guy who appeared to be nice (and I mean that in the best possible way; nice is totally underrated!) but was a man of few words. The fewer the better apparently.
So imagine my astonishment when he asked me if I wanted to go for dinner. I already knew that I would never make it to the second date. After two beers I definitely needed something to eat first. And even though he was not the best conversationalist, a free dinner was a free dinner.
We left the pub and moved in the direction of the beach. I noticed that I really had too much to drink since I wobbled a bit. But Aussie was not fazed and provided a stable support for me by holding my arm. Nothing sexual in there, I assure you.
We reached the beach and he chose a really good-looking place to have dinner. When he asked me if I was hungry, ate everything and if he could order for us, I was more than happy to say yes to all three. Saying “YES” a lot more was something I had leaned on my trip. It really opened new doors for me and lead to some incredible experiences!
Starving by then I loved it that Aussie ordered the seafood platter for two which started with oysters (why ever we would need aphrodisiac I really didn’t get). Also loved it that he didn’t appear to be cheap. He had paid for the beers already and since he had ordered the food I assumed (correctly) that he would pay for dinner.
Over dinner he started to talk a bit and my first impression was confirmed, Aussie was a good guy. There is something inherently sexy about a really nice guy. Maybe it’s because I am already older and had my share of bad boys. I loved that he came across like a real guy.
So dinner was interesting and with two shared pitchers of beers his tongue got looser and I felt he might not be uninterested after all. Mine got looser too and I asked him about the first 15 minutes and my impression of him. He told me that he was inherently shy and that he felt nervous with me. What better compliment for someone like me to make a younger guy nervous. He really knew what to tell me.
After he paid for dinner we went in search of a bar. It started to become really interesting. There was definitely a bit of tension in the air.
I am back home since more than a month and I had the trip of a life time. Dating wise it was a bit meager since most backpackers on the road in SE Asia were at least 20 years younger. Not that I would mind someone younger but I got the feeling that I was just not meant for them. So I traveled for three months without anything happening and this although I was excellently prepared for all eventualities.
For the last part of my trip I had a beach vacation planned and for this I pulled out all stops (compared to the rest of the trip). I flew to a well-known island in Thailand and there rented a bungalow on a beautiful beach. Not right in the middle of the action but a little bit further down. At my age I want to choose when to party and not have it in front of my door all the time.
So the second day I am there I activate Tinder since I will spend a week on this island alone and I already noticed at breakfast that at my hotel I won’t meet anybody. I swipe so often to the right that Tinder tells me I am out of likes for 12 hours. Did that ever happen to you?
I start texting with a couple of guys, not all of them on the same island. So really what’s the point? I just want to meet some people and have a great last week of this totally amazing trip. Two guys want to meet me right away and I agree to meet both of them. The first one around 4:30-5ish and with the other I arrange to text later since he can’t make it before 7. It feels a bit over-motivated to meet two on the same evening but from experience I know that 90% of the people on Tinder are super douche, so it’s best to keep all my options open. And with no expectations I walk into town to look for the Irish pub because every place has at least one of them and it’s as good a meeting place as any.
Wow, it has been quite a while since I wrote anything here. This is probably because I keep busy with my other blog (click here if you want to see). But also because nothing, and I really mean nothing, has happened in the relationship department. No matter in what sense I use this word. Since Special K nothing/nobody of interest has crossed my way and there was so much else to do.
I will take three-month off work and travel. This is something I have wanted to do since a very long time. More than two years actually, ever since I came back from Brazil I wanted to quit and leave. I won’t be quitting now but get time off. And it is not the asked for year but only three months. But it is a start and I will take it from there.
What I have noticed as well since my leaving day is coming nearer and nearer I am meeting more and more guys. I seem to attract them now since I have no time and interest. Problem is, the moment I am showing interest, there is nothing happening again.
For example last week. I went out with a couple of friends, sure to be back home by 10pm latest after two glasses of wine. How I erred, I came home to the birds already singing. At the bar we went to I met a guy, let’s call him FX. He is not good-looking but has a certain humor and intellect which was clearly visible on this night and I had so much fun with him. He was complimenting me all the time, dancing with me, getting me drinks and being attentive all around. So before leaving the club he tells me that he must see me again and gives me his card to call him. Something I never do, which I let him know. So he takes my number and gives me a kiss square on the mouth and afterwards says that even though it was quite forward I will probably have all forgotten about it by the next morning. Which clearly I have not.
And I also didn’t forget that he wanted to see me again. So guess what happened? He never called. This is almost a week ago. I mean how long does he want to wait? And why am I so pissed that he doesn’t call?
I don’t get myself, there is so much to look forward to. And I haven’t really cared about anyone in a long time. And then I meet this guy, like him, get the vibe he does too and then nothing. Urgh!!! Men!!
Please explain, I am lost here.
I noticed again today that I have not written in a while and I noticed it because I wrote tons on my other blog and this one seems to idle away and has come to a full stop apparently. Things have to change around here and I need to get some motivation.
Motivation is also lacking in my love life. Basically my love life is non-existing and that already for a couple of months. Not healthy at all, I know. But as I said, I seem to be lacking in motivation. I haven’t been out lately, I have been on vacation though. But even there I rather preferred to stay on the beach and leave the sexual exploits to my older friends. What’s up with me?
Am I just tired of trying? Maybe because I am planning this big trip in my head and wouldn’t have time for anything anyway?
But there is always time for love (or sex) you will say. You are right, there is. I just don’t make any. I also don’t plan my trip. I just like to talk about how much money I saved and when I will start it. And since I have a starting date I am scared shitless that I am doing this. Quitting my job and leaving everything behind while going away on this trip of a lifetime. Which it will hopefully be once I am on it.
So what I supposed to do? About everything and my love life? The latter needs to be resuscitated again, definitely not healthy at all what I am doing to my body and my mental health. I read an article somewhere that the human being needs to be touched. I definitely need to be touched. All over if possible.
Let’s get this thing going! I am challenging myself to get in the sack, I just don’t know with whom. I really wish I wouldn’t be so fussy. But I can’t get it on with just anybody. I want someone young, with a nice body and good hair (better make that a full set of hair) and nice teeth (caries is contagious after all). Urgh, see there I go again. But I will work on myself. Promise!
Maybe the hair is not so important after all, just a nice to have feature.
Talk to you soon
Last Friday I was invited at L.’s for BBQ. She and her husband live in a large apartment complex, with pool, party room and so on. We were joined by my other friend B. and her son, and D. an Irish with his two kids, who all live there as well.
Dinner was fantastic, thanks to the world-class grill chef M. and the mosquitos were kept at bay with lots of sprays, candles and incense sticks. The wine was flowing, conversation as well. In between quite a bit of hick hack by the only married couple, everybody else was single/divorced. Quite an interesting combination.
What made my evening were the two minutes spent with D. alone outside on the patio when he told me that he was briefed that I would be there. What he said was that I am exactly like they told him, but that I was definitely “under sold”. Nice compliment! Not so much from friends though.
But guess what, I would rather be “under sold” than “over sold”. There has to be always room to impress!