Same old boring

Quick update on the date I had on Saturday. We were supposed to meet at 5:30 in the afternoon in front of an ice cream parlour. Around 5:10 I get a text from R. that he just wants to let me know that he is wearing red pants, a grey shirt, and a grey jacket and where he sits. So I rush to the meeting point and see him standing in front of the bank and right away he is a disappointment.

I think on his profile he said that he looked regular, but regular my a**. More like chunky on the verge of fat. So skinny red pants really don’t go with this. And then he smiles at me and all is lost. Worst teeth ever. Maybe it is just me, but I am obsessed with nice teeth. They are like your calling card. If you don’t take care of them who cares what the rest looks like.

We went for ice cream or better I went because he has an intolerance to milk products and more. I honestly thought that his doctor made a good call. He probably wanted him to lose weight and since he had no allergies, he just gave him a couple of intolerance food groups (like all kinds of wheat, corn, yeast, milk products from all animals). And guess what, he proudly told me that he had already lost a dress size. So I was right. It’s good for him but doesn’t change the fact that he forgot to check the ‘couple of kilo too many’ box.

We walked a bit around the city, then had 2 drinks each and then left it at. He paid which I found generous, because he must have felt as well that we will not see each other again. I think the worst for me was, besides the teeth, his effeminate behavior. The laugh, the gestures, the voice.
I know I am picky but I can’t help myself. There has to be some kind of spark, chemistry or whatever you want to call it.

Another round of blind dates

Not a lot happened in the last couple of weeks dating wise. Actually nothing happened. I concentrated at getting on better shape to fit in my jeans again come fall and that’s about it. No guys at all in my life.

About two to three weeks ago I got an offer for an online dating service for three day trial period. This weekI took them up on it. I signed up (just for the free part), filled out my profile, did the test and waited for the matching to begin.

Yesterday the trial period ended and I am glad it did because I felt like in the supermarket. You wink a someone, get an email, write back and get rejected. All in the space of 60 minutes. This is definitely not the bazaar for the lonely hearts to pick up some self-esteem on the way.

But, isn’t there always a but, I have a date this afternoon. Matching points of 126, his is tall, still has a set of hairs and a teenage daughter. So instant family is included. Not sure I would want it, but the option would be available. Anyway, we are starting with ice-cream today. Always puts me in a good mood.

New beginning

Last week I made a decisive step. I deleted all online dating profiles that I had. And there were many. I think I registered with three. With one of them I had been already since 2007. And never in between have I deleted my profile, but only deactivated it so that I could always come back when I wanted to.

Last week I decided that I had enough. I never met anyone really, really special online. Some nice guys, yes, but more douches. And I don’t want to waste my time anymore meeting uninteresting people. I have so many nice friends, I rather spend time with them.

So it was a big step for me to delete it all and I feel so much better for it! Since coming back from Brazil in March I am saving money for my trip. I want to take a year off and just travel the world or at least parts of it. And I also adjusted my life to make these necessary savings. I noticed that I don’t care so much about guys anymore and meeting men is not a priority. To be honest it wouldn’t work with my plan to meet someone now. I want to leave and not be attached to someone.

But it’s kind of interesting what is happening once you are not looking anymore. Last week I met my ex-boyfriend G. whom I dated to years ago. I didn’t go and say hello, the break-up was not so nice. Although to be honest it was me who didn’t want anymore, it was him who cut me of on Facebook. I felt back like in kindergarten. Anyway, I passed him and we had like eye contact for a second. The next day I had an e-mail in my inbox, if it was me who last night. Very funny, of course I never mailed back. Been there, done that. No reason for revisiting!

Yesterday I went swimming with friends and H. joined us. I know him since more 20 years, have always wanted him in a way, but also thought that this friendship is worth a lot more than risking it something casual. I don’t think it would have ever worked. Anyway, he called kind of out of the blue and asked what I was doing. He spent the day with us and it was really relaxing. I like how everything is just happening. No hassle, no drama, just a good vibe.

Irish compliment

Last Friday I was invited at L.’s for BBQ. She and her husband live in a large apartment complex, with pool, party room and so on. We were joined by my other friend B. and her son, and D. an Irish with his two kids, who all live there as well.
Dinner was fantastic, thanks to the world-class grill chef M. and the mosquitos were kept at bay with lots of sprays, candles and incense sticks. The wine was flowing, conversation as well. In between quite a bit of hick hack by the only married couple, everybody else was single/divorced. Quite an interesting combination.
What made my evening were the two minutes spent with D. alone outside on the patio when he told me that he was briefed that I would be there. What he said was that I am exactly like they told him, but that I was definitely “under sold”. Nice compliment! Not so much from friends though.
But guess what, I would rather be “under sold” than “over sold”. There has to be always room to impress!

Third date and follow up

E. and I had a third date when I came back from my vacation in Greece. The date was fine, we went to a Thai food festival, then an amusement park and later on to a film festival and watched a Rod Stewart concert. I like spending time with him, but when it grew late and he offered to take me home, I declined. I didn’t want to be in the car with him and then having an awkward goodbye situation.
I was not in the mood at all to kiss him. There is just no spark or chemistry between. He is funny and generous, which he also likes to point out. He told me five times on that evening that he is generous, which was true. He paid for everything except one plate of food.
But doesn’t talking about kind of ruining the effect? For me it was at least. It gave me the feeling he is only generous tonight because he wants something. As if he buys himself a kiss.
Anyway, I said goodbye to him at the festival and walked home from there. It was a warm night and it is safe to walk around alone.

Since then we are still in touch, he is calling and sending texts. Texting after midnight the day after our date, which is disrespectful in my book. More texts and question about when we see each other again. So far I have no time, but it might also be that I just don’t want to make time for him.
Will keep you posted!

No third date and other issues

Wow, I really haven’t written in a long time. And you know what? Nothing has happened in between. I am still in touch with E. He asked for a third date, going to a festival here in Vienna. But I had to cancel, going to a wedding the next day and from the wedding directly to the airport leaving for vacation in Greece. So no, I didn’t go and I did not feel sorry to cancel. While on vacation we kept in touch, although after 3 days I did not write back. Maybe I should do this.
Because to my big shame I have to admit that while on vacation I sent a text to B. Thanking him for talking at length about the island Rhodes, Greece and claiming how wonderful it is. And he is right, the island is beautiful, people are generous and extremely friendly. I went with a friend and we had a fabulous time. B. wrote back last night, exactly 2 hours after I was back home. Telling me that he doesn’t live in Vienna anymore and that he will go back to the island in September for 2 weeks. I am glad I already booked Andalusia for this time. So I can’t do anything stupid!
He also wrote that I should think about him while sitting in Lindos in the evening on one of the numerous roof top patios. And stupid me had to write back, telling him that I was already back home. And that there was no time to think about him cause I visited Lindos only during the day. What’s the matter with me? I don’t get myself, but I am working on it.

2nd date

My date last week went well insofar as the guy was presentable, funny and paid for my drinks. A lot better than most guys I have met from online platforms so far.
Also he of course likes me a lot, or shows a lot of interest. He sent a text the day after and invited me for dinner which we will have tonight. We are going to a Thai restaurant since we are both very much into Asian cuisine and love Thailand.
I am playing this now by the book, you know the one from Christian Sanders, and so far it works like a charm. Unbelievable, but on the other hand of course it is believable, because we all know that guys want to hunt us down. And the more we resist the more attractive we get.
Since I am not attracted to him at all I will use him as my practise model to hone my “man catching” skills, haha! No, I just want to try how it is when you go out with a guy and show him some interest but not too much. Just listen actively to his stories and be interested in him but not so much as to go home with him.
This ability has to become my second nature so when I meet a guy I want to take home, I can resist him until he is absolutely smitten with me! So I am sorry to say that E. is a practice model now. Hopefully I am not going to break his heart, this is bad for my karma. I will be very nice and gentle with him.
There are a couple of other guys in the picture but nothing to talk about at the moment.
You know that I never heard from B. again? Which is weird cause I was sure he would get in touch when he is back in town. So maybe he has not been back or he really keeps his distance. I still think about him from time to time but the urge to get in touch has diminished. Which I am grateful for!
Will keep you posted on my Thai date!

Date night

Tonight I am going on a date again. I haven’t been for a very long time and I am quite excited about it. Maybe more about the date itself than the guy I am going to date.

I met E. at an online platform and we have only exchanged a couple of emails and texts so far. I have not heard his voice, so I don’t know if he is cultured, educated or what not. Kind of exciting to have a real blind date for a change. On the other hand most often this just reeks of dating disaster. But let’s stay positive and hope for the best. The meeting place he suggested sounds already good, it’s a place where I go with my friends as well. Already a good sign.

Anyway, I will let you know more about how it went tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I love myself

I read this amazing e-book called “Men and their secrets” from this guy Christian Sander. The book is only available in German, but I am sure there are similar books in English available.
I am not really into self-help books, but have read “Men are from Mars, women from Venus” and also “He is just not that into you”. While I enjoyed them and I clearly got the message the books sent, this new one is amazing. The interesting part is that it doesn’t say anything new. Everything it says is something I know or already read/heard somewhere else. But what the author does it, he explains in no uncertain terms how guys are functioning.
I am a very rational person and reading this book made me realize what went wrong in the last couple of “relationships” I had. I am always over-eager, can’t wait and basically just pressure the guys into leaving me. Astonishing how much I can do wrong, and it also made me realize why the guys I don’t care about worship me. I like it that I now have a logic explanation why so and so never called. What went wrong with B for example.
I was too available and gave in too fast. No chance in hell that the thing with B will ever work again. Of course he never even got in touch since his last text, which was May 1. If he ever does I know what I have to do. And I love it that there is a plan or a manual on how to go about this thing called love. Because the manual tells me to lean back and relax. And we all know that this is nothing new, but having read it as an explanation guideline for my love-life, I will follow it and let you know about the results.

In other news, I got a text from I guy I dated last year in January. Let’s call him W. He was very much into me, when basically he stopped calling and so on. Bla bla bla, always the same story. Later on I heard that he got back together with his ex. They broke up last summer, and I saw him again in January this year. He is actually the friend of one of my friend’s boyfriend. So this January I basically told him (in other words) that he is jerk. Funny enough, he calls his friend the next day and asked him how he thought the evening went with me and if he still had a chance. The boyfriend told him no way and that was the last I heard and saw from him.
So a week ago I get a text from a number I don’t know, telling me that he understands my behavior in a way but would like to talk about it. Only of course if I am interested as well. Regards, W. First I thought it was an error message, but still forwarded it to my friend to find out if it was the guy from last year. Then I deleted the text cause honestly I didn’t care anymore.
So the next morning I was told that it was him and that he wanted to apologize. Only 15 month later. Isn’t that great??
I asked my friend if the guy was crazy but she said that’s what I wanted, no?. Which I did of course, only then, not now. She also told me that he saw me in restaurant 2 weeks ago and apparently said hi and waved at me and I ignored him. This part I really liked. Cause I never noticed him and apparently this was his motivator to finally get in touch. My friend told me that he talked about apologizing for the last couple of months. Sure he did, only he never had the nerve to do it! Isn’t it interesting that a guy picks up the phone only after he gets ignored. That’s a lesson we should all take to heart! I do!

Same old, same old

Yesterday was a national holiday and after a late morning run I was sitting at home trying to catch my breath when I suddenly get a text from B. via what’s app. I haven’t heard from hom since April 11 when he told me that he was back in Slovenia for a funeral. Since then nothing, nada, zip.
So yesterday all of a sudden I get his text in which he tells me that he doesn’t like Vienna at all, that hasn’t been back the last couple of weeks and already looks forward to Friday when he goes back to Slovenia. Apparently he turned int a country bumpkin (his words).
I said hello and that is was nice to hear from him. And then I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone. I am not sure what I wanted to say to him, but am tired of always texting via what’s app. That’s not a conversation, it’s just a pile of words. So he wrote back that he would love to in the evening. Because now that he is here he wants to drive to his brother’s place and see his nieces.
So I told him sure, he should just give me a call. If I was still out I would call him when I was back home. I had plans myself yesterday afternoon and went wine tasting with some friends.
Returned home around 8pm, quite inhibited and almost fell asleep on the couch.
He deigned to send a text at 9:30pm that he was now out himself…?
What was there not to understand, I told him he should get in touch when he was available and if I was still out I would call back. Whatever!!
Of course I am angry with myself that he still enervates me. Why oh why am I not standing above this? Why do I still take this to heart. I know that his text was some kind of weird excuse for him. He never gets in touch when he is not in the country and this was probably his way of explaining. But what’s the point. He doesn’t care, not about me or my feelings. Why does he even get in touch? Maybe he just wants to have a good time while he is here and then he goes back home to his wife/gf. I still believe there is someone. Maybe if I ever see or hear him again I will have the courage to ask him. He might not even lie. Because what would be the point?
I don’t think he will get in touch today. He probably has plans and tomorrow he goes south again. He will probably text again when he is in the city.
But I am proud as well cause I deleted his texts already this morning. Ok, I was disappointed after waking up at 6am and seeing he never texted or called during the night. Will I be ever smart with this guy?